In our book, Beyond the Bliss: Discovering Your Uniqueness In Marriage, my wife Patti and I wrote:
All of us have to make some basic choices about what our life (or existence) is going to be about. The question is not whether we will choose what we want to be and do in our lives, but in what direction that choice will take us. Frankly, some choices simply work better than others due to the fact that we live in a universe that operates on the basis of moral and spiritual laws as well as physical ones.
We began this chapter talking about the need for balance when it comes to tires, garage doors, and washing machines. Referring to life issues much more serious than these, Gordon Dahl indicates the importance of existential balance when he writes:
“Most middle class Americans tend to worship their work, to work at their play and to play at their worship. As a result, their meanings and values are distorted, their relationships disintegrate faster than they can keep them in repair, and their lifestyles resemble a cast of characters in search of a plot.”[1]
This quote underscores the dramatic importance of our existential choices. Dahl seems to be suggesting in this cogent observation that the frenzied, frenetic lifestyle of most middle class Americans is due to the rapid disintegration of their most important relationships. This disintegration of their relationships is caused by a profound distortion of their meanings and values. This distortion of their meanings and values is, in turn, the direct result of a lack of existential balance when it comes to their engagement in three key activities: work, play, and worship.
Though we believe it’s also possible for people (especially church-going Christians) to be guilty of playing at their work, worshiping their play, and working at their worship, Dahl’s observation strikes us as fundamentally correct: a lack of balance when it comes to these three very basic endeavors is the root of many of the ills that plague contemporary culture, not only in America but in all western industrialized nations. Existential choices matter! A truly healthy and functional lifestyle requires that we, taking into account the way God designed the world and human beings to function, strive to achieve balance in all aspects of our lives. An imbalance in the area of our existential choices will simply ruin our lives as well as the lives of those closest to us.
The kid in the movie, The Sixth Sense, uttered the famous line: “I see dead people.” That’s not my problem. My problem is that everywhere I look I see people living unbalanced lives. Sometimes this occurs when I’m looking in the mirror!
Is this true of you, too? Something to think about.
[1] As cited in Tim Hansel, When I Relax I Feel Guilty ((Elgin, IL: David C. Cook Publishing Co., 1979), 33.
